How To Handle Feelings of Guilt After an Aging Parent Moves Into a Care Home

Your 1+1 Team
November 19, 2021

If you are feeling overwhelmed with guilt after making the decision it is time your parent moves into a care home, you are not alone. Guilt is not an uncommon feeling with this decision. You may think you have given up too quickly or that you disappointed your loved one. However, these thoughts do not denounce your decision. Sometimes, moving your aging parent into a care home is the best decision for both you and them. We are here to remind you that you are not selfish and that you made this choice because you care about your loved one and their well-being.

1. Understand professional care is often the necessary next step

Nursing homes are there when your loved one may need more care and attention than you can take on. If your parent is admitted because they require constant supervision and skilled nursing care, then moving them into a professional facility is the right choice. A higher level of care such as a nursing home provides both increased safety and comfort for an aging or sick loved one. The decision of moving your loved one into a care home is meant to be beneficial for their well-being.

2. Stay active in their care!

You may feel guilty because you think your decision reflects that you don’t want to take care of your loved one anymore. However, you can still be there for your aging parent while they are living in a care home. Visit as much as needed and make sure they are receiving the proper care that guided your decision. Also, learning their rights as a resident at the facility and advocating for them will be appreciated by your loved one in this transition. Being active in their care can diminish your feelings of guilt because you are proving even though you are not living with them, you still have their back and care about them.

3. Realize that you did not cause your loved one’s illnesses or age-related decline

As a caregiver, you tend to blame yourself for what your loved one is going through. However, telling yourself you are at fault for your parent’s illness or age-related decline does nothing but push you both down. Why? Because it is not true! The best thing you can do for your parent and yourself is stop taking the blame and just simply be there for them in the ways you can. Any help and care received by your loved one will always be appreciated.

4. Understand you can’t live for other human beings

Take time to remind yourself why you made this decision. Were you overwhelmed, burnout, with trying to balance being a caregiver with your responsibilities? Did your loved one need more care than you could provide? You shouldn’t have to carry the weight of being your parent’s only source of help. While we understand the need to take care of your parent in need, you also have to take care of yourself. If being a caregiver means you are neglecting your other personal matters, then it is too much for you to handle on your own.

Moving your aging parent into a care home may not be easy. In this process of dealing with your emotions, remind yourself of why you made this decision and how it will benefit both of you. You can still be there for your loved one, even if they are living in a care home.


1+1 Cares is a referral agency that works for clients and caregivers. We match caregivers with clients and inform them of your requirements. We work for you so you and your loved one can have a safe, enjoyable caregiving experience.

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